I am faithful until I am repeatedly betrayed and injured... then I leave. I love until the other proves that they cannot comprehend true love. Real faith and love requires the heart of a true warrior, a true fighter, a kind of toughness that is devoted to kindness. New love is precious. Real lasting love is my holy grail. So, be that, be that rare kind of true love and this bond will be eternal. That I promise to you.
I swam for the light and you did everything you could to take me into the abyss. You betrayed me, not the other way around.
If you can care for a friend or one you love and don't, if you leave them to suffer when you could have saved them from it - that's betrayal. If they've worn you paper thin, if they've held you close and plunged the knife in deeper even as they whisper sweet nothings - that's self preservation, survival and a wise action. From the outside, however, few can tell the difference.
Betrayal is a conscious choice for cold indifference, to take a personal gain instead of a loss that would have saved the other. What I did was shatter into a million shards as I broke, all the while trying to hold onto you... while you stabbed and swung vile words as weaponry. What I did was survive when I realised that was my only chance to save myself and the others. I had a responsibility to them. You made yourself beyond saving. That was your choice. And in that, you chose my duty too. It took the only option left... and left with them, not you.
I can hear your voice even though I haven't seen you in years. I can remember the stupid things you used to say, all those catch-phrases, what did they all mean anyway? I found you annoying so often and you hurt me on purpose with that refined look of innocence you have. You pulled the wool over my eyes for years, telling tales of trauma and victimhood that never happened. I was the leading lady of all of your dramas until I glimpsed the curtains and the stage lights. I spotted the repetition of your themes, of your script. Really, you should have diversified more. But still you haunt me in ways I can never explain, never shake. I gave you my heart for free, but that shouldn't have made it worthless. It was priceless. There's a difference.
How quickly your love turned to hate, as if you didn't even fight it. You let that negative emotion swallow you and pour acid into your soul. I fought for the good memories, the reasons to be kind. I fought to keep myself empathic even as every terrible thing I had predicted came true. For me, that's the betrayal, that lack of willingness to fight the negative thoughts and think the best of me, to recall my soul as it was when we laughed. And so, my heart still has only sweetness for the memories of who we were, but it is so very relieved to see the new life that waits ahead, just around the corner, I can sense it.