grump vs asshole - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

A grump is a loving person who has a coping mechanism to reduce loving connections - loving the wrong person is very painful. An asshole is a person who is "grumpy" but for whatever reason has come to enjoy hurting others - either realising that they enjoy it or suppressing the realisation of why they hurt others. The grump tends to warm up with loving care, when they feel emotionally safe. The asshole tends to temporarily warm up with loving care but then becomes more hurtful to gain a bigger "buzz" from hurting the "helper." I love a good grump, an honest to God carmudgeon with a heart of gold... Assholes you can't help, they have to cure themselves... but I've never seen one manage it...