Selfishness is human evolution in reverse gear.
Self care and selfishness are very different, for our choices are as recipes and it matters how much of each emotional ingredient we add.
Selfish is easy to do. We live in an age that makes a virtue of such vices. Economies depend on it. That's the money-nexus world. So, take your invitation to the love-nexus as your own golden ticket. Learn how to care for others especially when it is inconvenient.
Humans evolved as a cooperative species, we survived because we learned how to conquer selfishness. If our ancestors can win that battle, we can too.
Some brandish "selfish" as if it were a word-weapon, and often they are the ones who are the selfish, the entitled, the unable to see the pains and needs of others as valid.
"Concubine" or "Conk you bye/buyin/bind." "Conk" is to hit or conquer by brutishness. Thus this word means to take with an intention only to keep as long as it serves the selfish perspective. An alternative pronunciation is "bonk-u-bye" and the other side of the coin, "bonk-u-pine." If you are seeking love, then it is time to say "Con-c-u-bye." I had to write this, to use my quill, there are so many who want to "pork-ur-pie" and, the other side of the coin,"pork-u-pine." There, sorry to be so crude, to seem so rude and prickly, but some pricks lie.