The professor went on, "'Bad' can be seen as subjective, yet the triggering of genes (over 900 of them) into expressions that prepare a person for a shorter life in a survival oriented culture is not. If you force parents to compete for the basics, evolution will force interactions that prepare their children to be fighters instead of cooperators. The parents will be snappy and less cuddly in the same way that any animal is snappy and less affectionate when riding high on cortisol and adrenaline. We have the experiments and data to back that up. It's just basic biology."
A stressed parent is a bad parent and thus cortisol levels in society matter very much for population health and the future of nations.
We are born to toxic cultures without the time for loving nurture that healthy brain development requires to form. And so, the challenge of our times is to become the parents we needed rather than the ones we had. Our parents weren't bad parents, or at least in my own case that is true. They were people who themselves had suffered, who's own parents survived workhouse orphanages and slums. Our task is to see with open eyes the parenting that is bad and ask real questions about how that can be changed. If we remain stressed, how do we deal with that stress? How do we ensure that it is dissipated rather than transmitted to those we love? How can we address these issues on the level of society even as we engage in these personal battles of self improvement? What are the root causes? How can we adjust the money-nexus to give everyone room to breath, to build their love-nexus bonds with family and friends? For a healthy parent is a good parent whom has healthy and good children. Instead of blame and shame, let us shine lights on these matters because our kids matter, all of them.
They say a bad parent was a traumatised child, caught in the fires of their own suffering, their thoughts more hurricane than poetry or soul. I guess that's right. In that exists a road to forgive, a way to see the bigger picture and move on with your own soul intact, head held high. When we see it we can learn to heal, learn to love anew and be a person we approve of in a way that is deep and calm. Then we can become the good parents and start a new cycle that is loving and healthy, plant a good seed in the rotten wood and watch the new spring growth.
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