We all evolved for transient stress, to rise to occasions that required us to protect those we love, to exert ourselves and burn whatever reserves were required to survive. Nobody, not any of us, evolved for constant stress. And this is the feeling of "anger boiling up." We can't change our biology this much, so we suffer, get sick and die younger. Our relationships implode or explode and, again, we suffer. What we can do is evolve society to match and be complimentary to the animal that they human is. We need to run our societies with policies that are biomedically appropriate. We need to shift from a demanding money-nexus to an empathic and creative problem-solving love-nexus.
When anger boils up, take the pot off the heat and open the lid. You gotta let that steam dissipate safely into the ether.
Self control is a finite resource because the part of the brain exerting control gets tired - it requires energy and that gets depleted. So, the repressing of anger needs careful thought. If it is boiling up, how will it be cooled? If it explodes, whom bares the brunt? Because they psyche under seige will naturally seek a more vulnerable (hence "safe") person to explode at. Stress bubbles down to less dominant people in a society where the more powerful have reduced ability to handle their anger and stress. Thus, how you deal with your anger is vital. It is as steam in a pressure cooker, you have to find a way to let it out in a safe manner. That can be through physical activity or by finding inner peace, or often a combination of the two. Sport releases the need for self control, finding inner peace expands your endurance and ability for self control. As such, they are a winning combination.
It's been there a while now, this anger, escaping when I'm away from those I love. I'm angry at store clerks and car drivers, heck, I'm even angry if my sandwich isn't quite right. But the truth is, my life needs changing for the better, because there's more going into this brain and body than I can handle and still be me. So, even if it's not okay with you, I'm gonna start working on my real dreams.
I swallowed that anger when it was a fire-seed and forgot to drink something cool, and so it grew in my belly until it came out as hot as any dragon has ever flamed... on the person I loved most. I'll never forget his eyes, how that fire burnt him to ash. He loved my sparks of passion, the way I sizzled even in the rain, but that inferno was more than his heart could manage.
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