In an argument, a confrontation, we are both reduced in our own eyes - yet in seeing things from one another's perspective and developing real empathy, we are raised up.
The argument begun by the word should be settled by the word. The argument begun by the pen should be settled by the pen. Yet the argument that has begun or escalated to the fist, sword or gun should be settled by the pen and word as soon as necessary defensive moves have ceased. For the elevated and sophisticated culture drives toward peace at all times.
Every argument I ever heard is this:
A: What is in cake?
B: Flour
A: No. It's sugar.
B: No! It's flour you moron.
A: No!! It's sugar and I can prove it!!
B: You idiot!! Everyone knows it is flour and all my friends think so too!
A: You flour-heads are all the same, we sugar-ists are right and always right!!
Several generations later they still haven't figured out that most answers are more similar to a recipe, with a bit of this and a bit of that, rather than one absolute thing. ***Sigh***
This argument grew from nowhere into a tornado. In my rage I was blind to you, to the delicate petals of your heart and soul. I assumed I was right when I had no real reason to. The words you spoke in such well intentioned purity triggered something in me that came from fear. I guess it is the way we were raised. The words that calm you, scare me... and the words that calm me scare you. So there were were in opposite camps, suddenly blind to each other's good hearts and building barricades instead of bridges. Then I saw your soul in your eyes and knew in a moment that we, in very different ways, both wanted the same thing, but were lost in how to get there, blind to the paths yet trying to see. It was only when I let the love back in that I saw a path for us... we both wanted to do what was best for everyone, to protect kids, to have a safe society... That's when I knew we were destined to find that answer together and realise that with love we gain a new kind of sight, that it is a sort of illumination. So let's comfort instead of confront, augment instead or argue.
Instead of a fist meeting a fist, let that fist instead meet a diffuse cloud of hope, one that enters the fist as "nanoparticles," fixing and mending with empathy and compassion. Argument and confrontation are merely opportunities to learn how to passively heal the monster within.
In fear we are all the monster, the fighter, yet if we learn to respond with love and kindness we start to cure the monster in others, we return them to being the angel of their better natures. So instead of arguing, I will say I love you, I respect you, and let's speak of this later when our hearts are feeling more human. Because then we will find a way and peace becomes inevitable rather than unfindable.
There was no heat in her voice, as if her heart beat so steadily, even though she took a different view from Mac's own. She simply said this was her way of doing things. I could see Mac balk at first, so accustomed he was the to ways of Imelda and her fiery temper. Verity was different, she absorbed things and then responded more than reacted, dampened situations rather than adding to the flames. And so before I knew it everything was happy again, it was love all around instead of the bickering I was so accustomed to.
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