Being a cinder-ella is not a sin. To start from poverty is a noble a-start as any. To come from a challenging start and become a great and loving person is a huge achievement. So, though we hope that Cinderella did live happily ever after, what happens often is that when a woman is poor the new family (and often the spouse in time) treats her as the maid, an inferior, a person of not-s-good genetics. Frustrations with the children are often then blamed on her - after all "he married down." Of course, there are boy Cinder-ella's too. There are times when the girl was more affluent and the husband is treated as the "poor relation" and blamed for any problems. Families cannot be this way. They can't treat the spouse with such cold heartedness and expect the marriage to function well. Marriage and parenthood are challenging enough without these extra pressures. Family is supposed to support and nurture. Perhaps we need to see the "happily ever after"? Perhaps we need to see how family is supposed to treat a new member that is vulnerable and otherwise alone in the world. In survival cultures (money-nexus) there is a tendancy to support the stronger partner in any controversy, the rationale of the situation bending around this truth. As such, our Cinderella girls and boys often are bullied even after the wedding.
Cinderella was born in that ballroom, for it was the moment she realised that she was worth more than ashes and sacrifice, that she was as worth of happiness as any other.
It was the ballroom that called for Cinderella, to feel the presence of a heart with such a strong soul-connection.
A world run by money is so heartless, few boys could ever think of being a "prince" - yet if girls are trained from the cradle to seek it by tales such as Cinderella, love itself is poisoned. Surely what we all need is to feel seen, heard and treasured, to have that feeling of safety and trust with our lover. It's so easy to see how money and love are incompatible.
Let's take the "sin" out of "Cin-derella," to have to fight your way up from ashes should bring social respect and not that sick sense of superiority folks get when they make emotionally-stunted judgements of the less fortunate.
In a world with stories such as Cinderella, where women need a prince with a "castle" - power and wealth - to gain the respect of others, the idea of "princess" harms us more than it helps. What were Cinderella's passions? What great ideas did she have? What dreams did she have of her own? For the idea that we must be rescued makes us weak and robs us of the pathways to real psychological maturity and strength. We do need loving bonds - family, friends and a lover - but we need self-worth and the ability to stand alone when we must too.
Where is Cinderella's PTSD? Where is her struggle for self worth? When does she learn to have confidence in her own voice after a lifetime of suppression? Why does the story need her to find a prince for society to finally give her the respect every human deserves as birthright? Was she valued for her brains or only her figure?
Cinderella needed good friends she could trust, a new family, far more than she needed a prince. As a young woman, kept lonely and abused, first she'd need to learn how to love herself before she could really love another. A girl isn't a supermarket produce waiting for selection, and true loving bonds that last a lifetime can't be made in such situations. The "prince" needed to feel every bit as lucky to be with her as she felt to be with him.
Girls have enough pressure on them to look thin and beautiful, to see their self worth as forever linked to their marital status and the "prince" they marry without tales such as Cinderella.
Cinder-ella isn't a name; it's lifelong stigma for being born poor and disadvantaged. Rather, treat me as the queen who rose upon flamed wing, and I will make you my king. I'm Bella. Beauty inside and out. I'm empathy and compassion, kindness and humble gratitude... and worthy of a warm-hearted man.
Keep track of your favorite writers on Descriptionari
We won't spam your account. Set your permissions during sign up or at any time afterward.