Thank you for logging into "Honest Dating."
Please select from the following two options.
I want:
(a) A cheap fling with an elevated risk of venereal disease.
(b) I want a long term monogamous relationships with integrity and fidelity.
Yes, there are only two real options. Don't argue. Pick one. Yes these are the same options as on every other dating website. Yes they are. Don't argue. Pick one. Depending on your answer you will either be directed to the pool of disease group or the clean group. Is that offensive? We don't care. It's honest and scientifically provable.
Once you have selected an option, press continue.
I tell Gramps we're “courting” and off for a “motion picture,” "dating" is an alien word to him. After twenty minutes of listening to him ramble about how movies we're better before the soundtracks got “too loud” and how the box office charged him just pennies to see a picture in the “good old days,” we're giggling down the rain kissed sidewalk. The final movie in The Hunger Games trilogy awaits in a state of the art movie theatre, VIP, 3-D and no kids allowed.When the lights above the lobby come into view, blurred by the light rainfall, we break into a jog, Gina swinging round the lamp-post like Cary Grant. All the new releases have posters on the outside wall behind perspex and the light from inside illuminates the puddled steps, worn in places by hundred of excited movie goers.
In the movie theatre auditorium there's a buzz of excited talk. Children on tiptoe stare at the popping machines, grinning for their salty snack. I know the profits from the popcorn are the lifeblood of the movie theatre industry, but as a student I have my clandestine snack in my oversized combat pants. I'm usually here for the action adventure hollywood movies, the ones packed with the sexy celebrities, but not tonight. I'm trying to impress a new girl so we're here for a retro classic. The lobby is swarming, fast moving, until she steps into the doors. Then time stops. My stomach turns unhelpfully and I feel my skin turn clammy. She lights up into a smile and what can I do but follow suit, if she is the sun then I am the moon. I have the tickets ready so all there is to do is slip my hand in hers and listen to her “guess what?” story as we stroll to the auditorium.
At the movies I can finally stop talking. This date has gone from bad to worse and this chick-flick is the final hurdle before an awkward goodbye. Cathy is still talking like words are on special offer or else she's expecting a tariff on breathing air sometime soon and she wants to make the most it while it's free. I gotta admit, she's pretty, stunning I guess, but she's no Becky. Give me casual, easy going and soft natured – not a pop tart on acid. Maybe that's harsh, but man my ears have had enough and I just can't process any more celebrity gossip. The movie theatre is as busy as the morning subway, that's Friday night I guess. I'd rather be nursing my memories than on this pity date. This girl couldn't replace my dog let alone my love. Ninety minutes of CGI torture ahead, better get a big bag of nachos.
Keep track of your favorite writers on Descriptionari
We won't spam your account. Set your permissions during sign up or at any time afterward.