Fixing "lonely" is a job for society, how can an isolated person do that for themselves?
As the human body has feedback systems internally, the social world is part of a feedback system too. From socialising we receive signals, reassurances and love that impact our neurological development. The triggering of the brain releases feel good brain chemicals that impact our biological development right down to the expression of our genes. Thus feeling lonely is a medical issue and in truth, problematic for humans because we evolved as a social species. Our homeostatic feedback systems expand into the social environment and the physical environment. Biology is all loops, positive and negative. We are all born for a love-nexus society, every one of us, we need it.
I have learned to fly solo, and yet fly to new heights and see new views. When one can appreciate serenity and accept the quiet day as a blank canvas, the space before you can be as the calm sky to a bird. It is far better, I feel, to fly in good company, to sing together and spark joy in one another... yet if this lonely road is the right way toward it, I'll be okay. It is only in these times of challenge that we are given the chance to grow and develop new skills.
To love is to have emotional vulnerability, and so without it there can only be a lonely existence.
It is so very hard to admit even to ourselves that we are lonely - it is far easier to "invent" a myriad of problems that we buy into and encourage others to do the same. How many "problems" would actually be simple to solve for ourselves yet we experience a form of mental block and instead are diverted to asking another for assistance. It's little wonder our society is broken. Only when we aren't emotionally starving for real companionship can we have good relationships of every sort. So, when we are brave enough to feel the loneliness instead of allowing our brains to distract us from the pain, we can then begin the process of solving loneliness on a personal and social level.
I've gone as far as I can on this path alone. I've learned how to walk alone, how to carry others, how to cope with and solve my problems alone. What's left is a form of loneliness that requires a lover to solve. It's the need for physical closeness, for touch, for emotional warmth from a partner in life. So all I can do is hope that it comes, otherwise I am at a plateau, neither suffering nor truly in comfort, a sort of emotional-limbo.
I guess you could call me lonely, but over time I have learned how to lessen the pain. For example, the cafe is my refuge, this place I can make believe that I am in a caring society. At the tables are my imaginary friends in a transient community. We are born to need social bonds. We are born to need a sense of others, even if we are alone. It is terrible for the higher brain to know that we are solitary, that our life path has asked us to learn how to be the warrior instead of the cosseted, the protector and not the protected. Yet there is a need to fool the senses that this society is a safe place and we belong to a tribe. So in this cafe, among the noises of people, their scent, their occasional glances and the chatter of the baristas, I give my primitive brain a little of what it craves, just enough to see me though.
Lonely and alone are such very different things, so very, very different. I was lonely with the person who was supposed to love me more than any other... then, later on, lonely and alone. Yet I heard some advice and it's helping so very much, that if you embrace the feeling of lonely, let yourself feel the pain full force and have the courage to stand and keep going, that you win. You soon find alone is solitude and it's okay. Then you find that the ones who would harm and manipulate you go away, seeing that you are strong. That's when life gets good. The universe senses that you have the strength for a good life and opportunities begin, your own rainbow fades in. It's challenging. It's brutal. It's winnable and you are worth it. So love yourself, breathe deeply and walk through it. Be present in the moment, be true to who you are within and that wonderful soul you were born with will emerge with butterfly wings.
In those streets he was the only beating heart, the only being of warm blood and flesh. The walls around him were doubtless home to many in the fairly recent past, yet now it was an unfamiliar maze to all. The light fell on the words that spoke to nobody, unaware that their audience had vanished, or that the streets lay silent beneath no boots at all, save his. It was as if God had stopped time, removed all the distractions so he could see it for real, see how it really was, what it really was. And in that moment all he wished for was another beating heart in this deserted city, another being of warm blood and flesh, one more pair of boots to walk next to his.
I am lonely but I have me. I am a person too. There are those surrounded by people and yet, because they surrendered their soul, they are truly alone. The truth is, unless you can connect to your true self, you cannot connect to anyone else. So though I look like the loser; I am closer to winning than most. I am still me. How many can say that?
Keep track of your favorite writers on Descriptionari
We won't spam your account. Set your permissions during sign up or at any time afterward.